If Your Were To Die Tomorrow.....

If your were to die tomorrow, what kind of legacy do you have to leave behind?

Last weekend I heard this question from a speaker at a conference in Florida. And this question sent me into a loop.

What if I really died tomorrow? What would people remember me by? And who, with the exception of my family, would remember that I existed? What have I done in my life so it would be important to people to remember me?

And then the other question popped: Why is that important to me? Is it my personal ego speaking or is this the purpose of humanity to leave something behind so the next generation has more awareness?

This got me thinking. Who am I and what do I do to add my contribution in the world? What can be considered a contribution?  Why can't I just exist in the privacy of my home, job, back yard, eat my food, watch TV and sleep, and never think about people learning about what I know that I can share to make their life better?

I thought, what I do now, makes it inconceivable for me to hide it, because not sharing what I know would be selfish of me. Because I know of effective ways for those who want to advance to the top of their performance, to the extraordinary, to the enjoyment and the feeling of satisfaction in their lives, to the magic of a mythological way of a hero.

I mentor successful women who want to be more successful in more areas in their lives. And many of them ask why they need to engage a mentor. They went to school, they know the steps, numerous literature is available for entrepreneurs, start-ups, career advancement, as well as for managing your relationships, attracting love and such, in many variations. So why do you need someone else, couldn't you do all of that on your own?

That's what I thought, when in the beginning I was cocky enough to reject help, thinking I know better what I need. Until my mentor pointed out to me how I can begin to control my story and make it what I want. When I discovered the methodology I work with now, I realized, not only do I not know better, I also need for someone to see inside and point out the obvious.

I will explain.

We all live inside of a story, a mythology, a plot we are writing, we are telling ourselves, like inside our own movie. When I was 10, I remember thinking that I can be a hero of someone else's movie on someone's screen this moment watching me perform my life from another dimension, as I eat my soup, wash my face or look at myself in the mirror, in my Moscow apartment close to 40 years ago.

The story I was telling myself was that I am an ordinary girl who is locked inside a dis-balanced circumstance. But I did not consciously know that yet. I was growing up, gradually absorbing views and beliefs that were dominant in those times. In my family, the dominant belief was that I needed to work hard in order to get someplace. Simultaneously, by the age 15, I began to believe that if I don't work hard enough (!) I can't get any place at all.

With my mother's guidance I was busy, I attended drawing and dancing class, skating, piano and singing. In addition to what I did outside of the school, I still had to do my homework on chemistry and physics, literature, two languages, and math (which I hated but this is a separate story).

I grew to rely on hard work getting me "someplace". I believed that unless I m awarded a highest honor, degree, or diploma, signifying praise from those in charge, I can't be happy. My own story unfolded day by day..... in the direction of ...... more hard work.

It was never enough. I could not be enough. I am not enough.

And if I am not enough...... then you know, what happens then. I am not enough so I cannot be loved, appreciated and if I don't have that I cannot be happy. And so it went on.

My story unfolded, and now I had no control over it.

22 years ago, "armed" with this unbalanced belief, and a Ph.D., I arrived to the US and was shocked to see how much work there is ahead of me to be able to be appreciated in this society where nobody even knew I existed yet.  I worked hard to get another degree, this time MBA, and still there was not a feeling of satisfaction with my life. I worked 17 hours a day and longed to have love in my life.

Years after, when I discovered the work that I do now, and when I re-discovered who I really am, and how to take control over my story, I began to find ways to "tell" the story I really want to tell.

I realized that it is fun to be able to control what goes on in my life and to predict and to compose, like music the sequences of my life in order to create the result I want.

As a result, my life began to shift, I found balance, and as a result of that, magic began happening in my life. I found work that I love. Over the next few years I discovered when I work I feel most relaxed and fulfilled. I not only feel at my best when I work with people helping them on their way to they discovery of their successes, I know that contributing to each person's advancement I create the new society of the future in the world is a more fulfilled place. Besides, when I am at my best like this, the universe begins to conspire, like it did when she put me in a set of circumstances where I discovered love.

What better life could I want? And yes, knowing that I can do more to contribute to more people's lives, before I finally dissolve, makes me feel grateful for every moment of my life, for the health that I possess, for the time that I devote to studies or work with others, or to my family, grateful for every next moment, and satisfied I am granted another day of being who I am.

In the end, yes, I am prepared to die tomorrow, even though I have no intention to do it, but to continue to tell my story as I intend it to and as I live a balanced and fulfilling life of my journey. What about you? Are you ready to live your life?



Morrin can be reached for comments, discussions and personal advice, mentoring and speaking engagements at newyorkawarenesscenter@mail.com or by posting your comment.